Another problem that is in line with this is that during the first year of recovery a great deal of growth should occur. This growth raises self-esteem, and if one entered a relationship early in recovery, they will now realize that they can do better. Additionally, even if both grow, and both of the partner’s self-esteem is raised, it is likely they will grow apart.
Giving your husband surprise BJ's in the morning, or just as he gets home from work will make him want you a lot more. There should never be a time when he has to give you "hints" and tap you on the shoulder to "go south", you should do it because you love to do it, initiate it when he doesn't expect it, because you "need it;)." Let go and be sexy and flirtatious with your husband, let him know you desire him and that he turns you on. All of this will make sex more interesting for both of you, you'll start and he'll follow.
Don’t let it get boring. Related to #7, if you don’t develop a creative, free and uninhibited sex life, it’s guaranteed that it’s only a matter of time that your husband will get bored sexually and temptations will enter in. Work hard to not let this happen. Again, let God in every area of your life and ask Him to help you since it’s usually (but not always) the woman who is more content to put up with a boring, predictable, same-old-thing sex life. The church has a lot of teaching against adultery (and rightly so). Unfortunately it often has too little teaching on the roots of adultery, one of which is a lack of attention on the most important matters to the man and woman—relationship/communication for the woman and good, clean, fun, and creative sex for the man!
“When I was young, I would obsess about beautiful women in my father’s magazines. When I got old enough, I dated numerous woman but I never had a steady girlfriend. Later in life, I experienced a sense of sadness, emptiness, loneliness and anger that I didn’t know how to handle. To mask these feelings, I had a steady stream of women who adored me, comforted me, and tended to my needs. I visited peep shows and I went to see prostitutes. Many nights I would spend hours circling the block looking for just the right sex worker to perform fellatio in my car. Once I acted out with a transvestite. I felt dirty and bewildered. That night, I sobbed me way home.”เกย์